My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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