It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
