i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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