he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
