oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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