I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
