Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
