I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
