I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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