Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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