I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
