well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have aggressive nipples.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
