Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
