the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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