I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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