Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
