Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
