I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
