Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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