he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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