We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
