he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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