It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
