Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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