I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
