If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
only if we run a train.
done.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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