she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
