where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
