But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
