I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
