he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
two words...techno handjob
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
