Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
