talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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