We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
