About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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