I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
