i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
