do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
