Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
