I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My hand turned me down
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
