what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
