Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
