I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
