The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
