just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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