i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
