please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
