Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
