quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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