when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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